Spring is my favorite season. It is green and fresh and new. It is also, in my New England memory of crocus pushing up through frozen mud and bright daffodils bowed down by late, wet snow — neither of which happen here — resolute and brave. Just when winter has worn you down to a nubbin, you spy something that reminds you that life is returning to earth.
And this winter, though for me neither unduly cold nor in the least snowy, wore me down mightily. Yes, it was long and brutal and dark — but emotionally rather than otherwise. That’s the reason the blog has been on radio silence so long. I just haven’t wanted to talk about any of it. There is something in my blogging persona that wants only to share the good news. Not because the bad news isn’t as important as the good, but because somehow it feels like I’m asking for empathy or help or I don’t quite know what.That’s something I’ve always been reluctant to do, asking to be heard, asking to be seen and held. It’s also something I know I need to change.
So I’ve decided to take a page from spring’s book and be brave. I have a new intention for this blog — to share a lot more, and not to be afraid of whatever reaction it may generate in my readers. What they — you — think is beyond my control anyway. I also intend for my posts to be more organic and authentic. So I’m only going to write when I feel like it. No regular schedule, but posting at will. For now, at least, I have a lot to say, so there will be plenty of posts. And then we’ll see.
Because this is still my blog, there will also be glee, and silliness, and lots of the good stuff. But I want it to be a more holistic reflection of what is going on for me. And I hope that you will hang around and share it with me, all of it.