The world's most perfect food.

I fully recognize that it’s New England snobbery on my part, but I’m just going to say it. There is no meal more perfect than a lobster roll, fries (even if they didn’t have vinegar on them, as the canon demands), and home-made cole slaw with a lot of celery seed. Especially if it’s eaten on a picnic table in the shade, and followed by slow-churned peppermint stick ice cream.* Feast your eyes, kiddos.

Look at how the lobster chunks are just barely held together by a soupçon of mayo. Notice the New England-style hotdog roll, which has been toasted in butter on the outside only. Observe the lack of celery, onion, or any other abomination in the lobster mixture itself. This is as good as it gets.

*Fun fact: New Englanders eat more ice cream per capita than any other place in the United States. Even in the dead of winter. And speaking of the dead of winter, ice cream manufacturers who think that New Englanders only want to eat peppermint stick ice cream at Christmas (I’m looking at you, Edy’s/Dreyer’s) could not be more mistaken. Seriously. What is wrong with you people?